


once I had a love and it was divine (soon found out I was losing my mind)

by professorblnns



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Kicking & Screaming (1995)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternative Universe - Kicking & Screaming, Angst, Bill is weird, Draco and Harry pine for each other for like 6 years, F/M, Fred and Hermione are in a relationship, Ginny Is Awesome, Hermione.... drinks alcohol in this one?, Kicking & Screaming au, Luna is weird, M/M, Ron dates Lavender, Ron dislikes Lavender, Underage Drinking, not all the time tho, smoking!, title is from Heart of Glass, trigger warning : smoking addiction, trigger warning : underage drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27606275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/professorblnns/pseuds/professorblnns
Summary: Finally, she can see Fred Weasley. He’s standing on the bridge, leaning against the railing and talking to Lee Jordan, an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Hermione thinks his shoulders are perfect in his suit jacket and his hands are perfect where he stands holding his beer.“Here’s your drunk boyfriend.” Lee says to Hermione as she comes over. He lights up Fred’s cigarette, before he leaves them alone.In which Fred and Hermione kind of break up, and feelings, cigarettes and drama ensue.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley, Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley
Kudos: 10





	1. GRADUATION NIGHT

_GRADUATION NIGHT_ or _CHAPTER ONE_

Hermione walks across the grass field, her kitten heels sinking slightly into the ground with each step. She carries two glasses; one filled with orange juice and one filled with wine. Around her, her fellow schoolmates are gathered for a graduation part. Occasionally people try to drag her aside for a conversation, but she keeps on walking, occasionally offering a smile, but never halting or stopping along the way. Seamus runs into her and tries to hold her by the shoulders. He reaches around her giving her a drunken hug- but she shrugs it off and shoves past him.

“Have a good time, Seamus, and try not to drink too much, alright?”

“’Course, Hermione!”

She knows he won’t follow her advice, but she’s allowed to try.

Finally, she can see Fred Weasley. He’s standing on the bridge, leaning against the railing and talking to Lee Jordan, an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Hermione thinks his shoulders are perfect in his suit jacket and his hands are perfect where he stands holding his beer.

“Here’s your drunk boyfriend.” Lee says to Hermione as she comes over. He lights up Fred’s cigarette, before he leaves them alone.

“Hey, congratulations on getting the top score of the school,” Fred says looking at her expressionlessly.

“You could’ve beat me if you’d tried,” she says.

“Nah,” he says. He looks down at his shoes. Then crisis strikes.

Someone, maybe Cedric Diggory or Dean Thomas yells, “Hey Fred! Good luck opening up the new shop!” 

Which is why Hermione drops both the glass of wine she was holding onto for Fred and her own glass of orange juice. Fred doesn’t answer whoever is calling him, instead he butts out his cigarette and checks Hermione’s hands for cuts.

“You’re opening up the joke shop? You’re leaving me and our new apartment to go to London?” Hermione accuses him.

“We haven’t even bought a new apartment yet,” He says before he catches himself, “and hey, you don’t even know that we’re doing it in London yet! Maybe me and George have found a perfectly suitable location right here in Scotland!” George is Fred’s twin brother. The two of them want to start a joke shop together.

Hermione gives Fred a withering stare.

“Hermione, you _live_ in London, you know,” he says, impatiently. He lights another cigarette, waiting for her rebuttal. 

“Fred, I live _here_ , in the middle of nowhere, in the mountains of Scotland. Where my school is. I stay at school nine out of twelve months of the year. This place has been my home since I was eleven. My parents live in London. When I’m there over summer break I sleep on a couch. You know this,” she argues.

“Well now you can sleep on my couch instead!” he says. There is a silence as Hermione looks away from Fred, choosing instead to look around herself at the people at this party as if she is planning how to kill every single one of them. Fred inhales his smoke shakily, before butting his cigarette on the flat of the railing. Then Hermione looks back at Fred. “Whatever happened to us sticking together?” He doesn’t answer her question, nor her imploring stare, so Hermione grabs his beer and takes a quick sip, hating the taste of alcohol. She tries to look tough about it, but in the end she can’t help but grimace. 

“Go easy,” Fred says as if this is amusing, as if Hermione in her current state is something to laugh at.

“I just can’t believe you’re leaving me here, all alone - I imagined that if you’d do anything after boarding school, at least you would do something boring out of solidarity! Instead you’re going out into the world and chasing your dreams while I’m stuck here, an entire year, without you!”

“You should be happy for me. You know George and I have been dreaming of opening up a shop for _years_! What if I reacted like this every time you made an independent decision? Like when you quit smoking,” Fred says, referring to how Hermione quit smoking as her new years resolution.

“How is quitting smoking anything like moving away from each other?”

“I started smoking because of you, so we could be co-dependent. When you quit I was absolutely heart-broken,”

“You didn’t start smoking because of me,”

“I did. I thought it would strengthen our relationship,” Fred says this almost sarcastically, but they both know he means it.

“How did you get a shop in London, anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be poor?”

“Harry gave us the money he won from his table tennis tournament. He has more money than he needs from his inheritance anyway,” Fred pauses to take a drag, “You know, you could come with me. You’d love London.”

“And do what?”

“Finish up your education there,”

“As if you don’t know my parents have prepaid for this entire thing. We can’t all get into expensive boarding schools on scholarships,”

Fred turns to face Hermione, looking at her with doleful, wild eyes. He says, “It’s almost like you can’t be with me if I’m not suffering like you suffer. You’re like a child,”

“You find that endearing,” Hermione says, looking at Fred with mischief.

“No I don’t,” Fred says, leaning closer. Hermione gets a whiff of his alcoholic breath.

“You’re drunk,” Hermione whispers, her voice breaking.

“So should you be,”

Meanwhile Draco and Harry are sitting by their own table, drinking. Draco has his feet up on the table sitting with a relaxed posture while Harry sits with his shoulders slightly bent inwards. He holds his beer with both hands where it rests on the table.

“To life after boarding school,” Harry says, he holds out his glass so Draco can clink it. Eventually Draco does, but he does it with a disapproving glower directed at Harry.

“You haven’t drunk enough to forget you have a year left of school, have you?”

“No, I was simply imagining how it must be for our graduating friends,” Harry says referring to Fred and George Weasley and Lee Jordan. The three of them graduated today.

“As if you have friends,” Draco mutters, rolling his eyes.

“Draco, I _have_ friends.” They both take a sip, staring into each other’s eyes sardonically, as they always do. Draco sets down his glass.

“Ron’s relatives don’t count. So – there goes Fred, George and Ginny. That’s basically no friends,” Ron was Harry’s first friend at school.

“I still have you,”

“I’m not your friend,” Draco scoffs.

“Oh, shut up, Draco,” 

The party is set up outside in a garden. The tables are sinking into the mud. When Ron (Fred’s little brother) and Lavender (Ron’s girlfriend) walk up to the table, Ron slams his fist on it. The table sinks slightly into the ground. As Lavender and Ron sit down, Draco scooches closer to Harry to make space.

“Hey Draco, stop wearing pyjama tops unironically,” Lavender says, pulling at Draco’s shirt.

“I’m not wearing a pyjama top, honestly.” He says bitingly, to cover up the fact that he is indeed wearing a pyjama top. It is an expensive white one in silk, however, one which his mother bought for him last Christmas. He thought he could’ve gotten away with it if not for Ron’s stupid girlfriend.

“Hey Harry, what were you thinking when you almost lost the table tennis championship yesterday?” Ron asks.

“What do you mean?” says Draco, eyes looking into the side of Harry’s face as if he’s looking for something there.

“He’s talking about when my opponent and I were even, with five minutes left to the game.” Harry explains and looks back at Draco. There is an awkward silence as they both notice how close they sit to each other. Then, Draco abruptly looks away.

“Table tennis is stupid anyway,” he says with almost a defensive tone.

Hermione comes walking over, to stands by the table and look them all over disbelievingly. “Did you guys know Fred was going to London?” she says.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Lavender comments.

“Believe me, it’s a bad thing. Our relationship is _over_ ,” Hermione says dramatically. She sits down in the last chair, crossing her arms.

“Come on Hermione, your relationship doesn’t have to be over just because Fred is doing this one thing on his own,” Draco says.

“You’re lying,” is Hermione’s reply.


	2. THREE MONTHS LATER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary is unneccessary

_THREE MONTHS LATER_ or _CHAPTER TWO_

Hermione, Lavender and Ron are moving Lavender’s furniture into Ron’s dorm room – where Lavender will be living with Harry and Ron. Poor Harry.

Hermione has just had her first cigarette in a long while sitting on the curb, and is now inside putting Lavender’s desk lamp in. Lavender and Ron are getting things from the trunk. Parvati Patil, a girl in Lavender’s class, is sat on the stairs until she stands up to greet them.

“Hey Lavender, you look beautiful today! Hey, Ron.” Parvati says, basically overlooking Ron.

“Oh, hey Parvati! I’m just moving my things in with Ron,” Lavender answers.

“I didn’t think that was allowed? It isn’t?” Parvati asks. Lavender nods, “Awesome! Do you want to smoke some pot later?”

“Before English?” Lavender asks. Parvati nods. “Sure, let’s do it!” Lavender says amiably. Parvati smiles, flashing her the thumbs up before she walks inside.

“I know why you’re doing pot,” Ron says, sending Lavender a knowing look. Lavender looks back at him doubtingly.

“Why am I smoking pot?” Lavender asks.

“Because, you’re doing the whole ‘rebellious teen does anything to piss of parents and boyfriend! Watch what crazy thing she does next’ thing. Believe me, I would know. My sister is going through the exact same phase,” Ron says. Then he laughs a little to himself. After this, there is a long silence in which Ron notices Lavender is looking at him with a furious expression.

“Funny,” Lavender says at last, voice dripping with sardonicism and spite.

Hermione walks back out the door, she’s just carried Lavender’s duvet in. There is a strange silence between the three as Hermione walks up to the car, reaches between Ron and Lavender to get Lavender’s fan. Then, Ron smiles at Hermione and Hermione smiles back. Lavender looks at them both, expressionlessly, which neither of them notice. When Hermione walks back up the stairs with Lavender’s fan, Ron follows. 

One thing Harry enjoys (although he can never quite understand why) is lying in Draco’s bed while Draco sits in his chair, watching something on Draco’s computer. Maybe he enjoys it because he likes being with Draco. But that wouldn’t make sense because it’s, well it’s Draco. Draco is not nice, not patient and Harry isn’t even sure Draco likes him. He’s pretty sure they’re friends, but Harry doesn’t really know why. Today Draco says, “We should go to the penguin,” not looking away from the screen. The Penguin is the bar in town where they don’t check ID.

“I need to go to the loo,” Harry says.

“Sure,”

One thing Harry does which Draco hates, is zipping up his pants after he comes back out from the toilet. Which is why Draco is currently looking pointedly at his crotch when Harry comes out right now from the toilet, zipping up his pants in public, yet again.

“You have to stop doing that, really, it’s fucking disgusting,” Draco says. They look at each other. “It’s a problem,” Draco continues. They look at each other Draco bends down to tie his shoelace. Then he looks back at Harry. He squints. “Are you wearing mascara?” Draco asks, his voice incredulous.

“No,” Harry answers and they both stare at each other again. “Yes,” Then Harry goes back into the bathroom to take it off.

“Harry, you aren’t taking it off, are you?”

“Draco. You’re an arsehole.”

The usual gang at The Penguin is Fred, George, Lee, Ron, Hermione, Draco and Harry. But now, they’re missing the former three. Bill, the eldest Weasley brother, is sometimes there, and he is coincidentally also the bartender.

The bar is shit. It’s dark, there’re hardly any windows and it’s filled with smoke. Oftentimes, the beer comes with food in it. And they don’t even serve food here – only crisps. And they let the entire underage population of the village drink there, even when their under-agedness is glaringly obvious. 

Bill comes over to their table with a mug of beer for Hermione.

“I have lost a lot of girlfriends to graduation.” Bill says, as a way of starting a conversation.

“Fleur?” Ron says, and Bill nods. Fleur is a girl who graduated alongside Fred and George. She used to briefly date Bill.

“I’m sad for you,” Harry says, seriously. Bill raises his eyebrows and walks back to the bar.

“I’ve been thinking we should have a group name,” Ron says when Bill leaves.

“You’re only saying that because this is our last year,” Hermione says, before lighting up a smoke.

“Ron, are you nostalgic?” asks Harry, his tone still serious.

“He’s not nostalgic, we’re not in his past yet,” Draco says, giving Harry a look. Then he gives Hermione a look, “and I really wish you’d quit smoking Hermione. I don’t know why you’ve begun again, you were doing so well before... uh, you know,”

Hermione rolls her eyes.

“Maybe I’m nostalgic,” says Harry, sadly.

Another unforeseen change is about to happen. Into the bar comes Ginny, the little sister of the Weasleys, with her group of freshman friends. She leaves her friends to come over to the table.

“Hey big brother.” She says, her tone sarcastically sweet, as she lays her hand upon Ron’s shoulder. Ron groans, “What are you doing here?”

“What are _you_ doing here?” She retorts.

“Just leave. Please leave,” He asks, not nicely. She does however leave because she doesn’t have anything else to say anyway.

Later Hermione sees Ginny throwing darts with Luna. Luna is Ginny’s best friend. Hermione leaves the boys to go say hi.

“How’s your love life Hermione?” Luna asks her, another weird conversation starter of the evening.

“Ginny knows all to well. You can ask her,” Hermione replies. 

“Why would Ginny know? Are you two…?” Luna asks, looking at them both insinuatingly.

“No, Luna. She just broke up with my older brother.” Ginny butted in.

“Wow, I never thought you’d go for someone like Ron, Hermione!” Luna says.

“No, my other older brother, Fred,” Ginny says, lighting a smoke.

“Mind if I bum one?” Hermione asks.

“You’re both being ruining your health, do you know?” says Luna.

“It’s nice to see you, Hermione,” Ginny says, before handing her a cigarette.

It isn’t until a week later, that Draco and Ginny meet. Of course, Draco _knows_ who Ginny is because he’s heard of her from Ron. Ginny doesn’t really know who Draco is, and therefore he is able to charm her despite being a mean guy. 

“Who’s the child?” Draco asks, when Ginny comes over to say hi to Hermione. He avoids both Ron’s offended look and Ginny’s bemused look.

“She’s my little sister!” Ron says.

“Since when do you have a little sister?” Draco lies.

“I know Ginny,” Harry says, like he’s going to win a prize for it.

“Lame.” Draco says disapprovingly. Harry gives him a look from behind his glasses which makes Draco shiver.

Later that same evening, they head over to a night club where they sneak in through a back door to which Fred and George had somehow gotten a key, earlier. They gave this key to Harry when they went away. This is where several bad things happen.

The first bad thing which happens is that Ron and Hermione make out. This is bad for three reasons; one, Ron is already dating Lavender. Two, Hermione really doesn’t even like Ron. And three, Ron and Hermione are supposed to be best _friends._

The second bad thing which happens, shouldn’t be a bad thing. It should be a good thing, but it is, nevertheless, a bad thing. Harry flirts for the first time in his life. This is bad because he is not flirting with Draco.

The third and final bad thing that happens is that Draco hits on Ginny. He does it because he knows it’s a bad idea – because he knows it’ll hurt several people – including Draco himself. Still, he can’t help himself.

Somehow, nobody speaks aloud about any of these things the next morning.

Sometimes Fred calls Hermione. They don’t talk that much. The silences seem to last forever – though they are almost not noticeable. Hermione thinks about when she said it was over between her and Fred. When she did, she really did believe it was he who had broken up with her, because he was the one leaving. But everyone keeps saying that _she_ broke up with _him._ That they didn’t have to break up – and that she was the one who decided to do it. What is Hermione supposed to think now?


	3. ONLY ONE MONTH UNTILL CHRISTMAS VACATION!

_ONLY ONE MONTH UNTIL CHISTMAS VACATION!_ or _CHAPTER THREE_

Ginny and Draco start dating. One day, Draco comes over to see Harry in Harry’s room. Bill is sitting in Draco’s chair. Well, not technically Draco’s chair – but the chair Draco usually sits in.

“What’s he doing here?” Draco says to Harry, pointing at Bill.

“He’s my friend,” Harry says

“Your friend?” Draco asks, doubtingly.

“I think it’s nice to make new friends,” says Harry.

“You don’t need new friends. You’ll spread your affection thin!” Draco exclaims. They are both ignoring Bill, who is looking at them both with an alarmed expression.

“You have a girlfriend, so aren’t _you_ technically spreading _your_ affection thin?” Harry asks, suddenly spiteful. Harry has never been spiteful before.

“You’re right, Harry. I’ll stop sharing it with you,” Draco says before he leaves. He slams the door shut behind him.

Ron is confused when one of his closest friends, Draco, starts dating his little sister, Ginny. What’s weird is that the two get along. Ron really can’t understand it at all. When he sees them together it is like watching the National Geographic. Draco is rude, he is unapologetic, and he will say what he wants, no matter how hurtful it is. Fortunately, he’s kidding about eighty percent of the time. And Ginny is just so _Ginny._ Her posture always straight, her hair falling around her face and her shoulders – an attribute to her wilful nature. Ginny is funny, sweet and a smart-mouth all at the same time. She is beautiful. Ron can almost see how they have fun; it’s because they’re both incredibly sarcastic. At the same time, he can’t imagine Draco would be happy with someone as normal as Ginny, nor Ginny happy with someone as rude as Draco. Little does Ron know; he is absolutely correct.

One day, there is a crisis. This is in the middle of November. The gang is sitting at The Penguin. Today, Ron’s girlfriend, Lavender, is there. She is paying attention to everything everybody’s saying – but she doesn’t really get it. She can’t really get it; she doesn’t hang out enough with Ron’s friends. Maybe that’s what makes her talk when Bill comes over to serve her a beer. 

“You know what’s weird? How almost all of you are kind of… related,” is what Lavender says.

“I’m not related to anyone.” Harry says

“As if you’re not going to marry Draco anyway.” Lavender laughs for a second, until she notices how awkward it is.

She thinks of when Ron told her this, as a confession. _“Draco and Harry are both completely oblivious to each other. I wish they’d get married already,”_ Lavender thinks maybe this was supposed to be a secret. Lavender instantly regrets opening her mouth.

Draco is profusely staring into his beer. Harry is intermittently glancing at Draco and Ginny is looking at Lavender as if she’s suddenly figured something out, just by looking at her guilty expression.

Needless to say, Ginny breaks up with Draco after that.

Whenever Lavender is with Ron, she is trying, and failing, at getting him in the Christmas spirit. Lavender loves Christmas. She loves anything to do with clichés, and for Lavender, playing the part is the most important. Which means she needs Ron to play the part. Which Ron fails at. Every single time. 

“Oh Ron, don’t you just love the Christmas weather?” Lavender asks.

“There isn’t even snow out, what are you talking about?” Ron retorts.

“I really don’t get why you have to be so irritable all the time,” Lavender says, looking at Ron pointedly.

“Lavender, I really don’t get why you’re trying to cheer me up. As if we’re going to work out. Don’t you know I cheated on you?” Ron blurts out, angrily.

Lavender doesn’t react, she just asks, “with who?”

“With Hermione. A long time ago, like way before midterms.” He says. Which is how Lavender, and Ron break up. It is also how Fred finds out, because Lavender sends him an email (of all things) later that night. He calls Hermione in the morning.

“You cheated on me?” is the first thing Fred asks.

“I can’t cheat on you if we aren’t together,” rebukes Hermione.

“Are we? Not together, I mean?” asks Fred, his voice detached.

“I thought we weren’t. I mean, it’s not like we ever see each other.”

“We’ll see each other at Christmas,”

“We’re not together Fred, you broke up with me when you left,” Hermione says, her voice rising in volume.

“I never said I wanted to break up with you,” Fred says, also becoming angry.

“But Fred. You left.”

“ _You_ were the one who decided to break up with _me_.”

“I never broke up with you. You broke up with me when you left.” Hermione knows she’s in the wrong but she still can’t admit it.

“Shut up,” Fred says. He hangs up.

After this, Hermione stops speaking to Ron for a while. Draco and Harry never talk, they only glance at each other as if trying to guess what the other is thinking. Which makes hanging out extremely awkward. Lavender is gone, Ginny is gone, and it’s impossible for the four of them to have a normal conversation. But it’s routine. It’s always been these four; since they were eleven years old and sat together in the cafeteria on the first day of school. However, it’s incredibly awkward.

Like, Hermione will be relieved whenever Ron isn’t there, but then she looks over at Draco and Harry and realizes the two will not talk within the vicinity of each other. She thinks, _we will never get rid of these awkward silences. All my favourite friendships are over._ At least not until something changes. _But isn’t it too late for change?_

Then it’s Christmas. Which Hermione has spent at the Weasley’s every year since she was eleven, so of course she’s invited again this year. She knows it will be awkward between her and Fred, in addition to it being awkward between her and Ron. At least she has Ginny, Harry and even Luna is invited (for the first time!) this year. In any event it is better than going home to her parents.

One evening Harry is smiling strangely. Hermione asks why.

“Draco called last night,” Harry says.

“Did he have anything to say?” Hermione asks.

“Not really. But he called.” And he smiles as if that is enough, as if that is all he wanted Draco to do all along. Hermione thinks maybe that’s true.

Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas, or maybe it’s because its Fred, but Hermione ends up crawling into his bed in his and George’s shared room in the middle of the night. He lifts his duvet and takes her in his arms.

“I don’t want to be broken up,” she whispers.

“Me neither,” he whispers back.

“I don’t know why I did it with Ron,”

“Probably because you were mad at me,”

“Fuck. I really am like a child,” Hermione sighs and Fred chuckles. He kisses her once, and then they go to sleep.


End file.
